Archive for March 12th, 2008

One memorable story from this guy that should probably decrease his streetsmarts grade.  Some random f.a.c. (friday after class) our normal group went out to the bars and got ridiculous as per usual.  HogginBoy pisses himself at the bar and walks around assuming no one will notice.  We explain to him how noticeable it is, but he was utterly convinced it looked fine and acted like he hadn’t pissed himself the rest of the night (a.k.a. he was the butt of all of our jokes for the evening).  Sorry bud, but hands down the cheapest mother fucker I’ve ever met.  I would have to ask to take a ’sun chip’ from him, just one fucking chip.  Name stems from one of my favorite pictures of all time, shown below.  I lived with him for two years in college.  He’s currently finishing up his senior year at the University of Iowa studying engineering. 

Drinking Ability: He gives himself way too much fucking credit. (5)
Ability to get Ass: sorry hoggin, I almost feel bad giving you a low grade here (3)
Smartassness: very poor (4)
Ability to make others laugh: (5)
Text Messaging Skills: he rarely does it (4)
Streetsmarts: Kept PussyDabs and myself out of plenty of fights, sometimes the father of the group (7)
Booksmarts: Very smart kid and has an unbelievable work ethic. (10)
VideogameAbilities: Similar to Zippies plays some pretty stupid games (6).
FantasySkills: Tries at least, comes to me for advice all the time (5)
Likely to be a good parent one day?: Can see him being a very strict father, but good nonetheless (8)
Overall Rating as a Person Based on this Scale: 5.7

Originally Appeared December 11, 2006