Archive for December 10th, 2007

9:00 - Here we go.  Actually looking forward to this and expecting a let down as the previews weren’t anything great. 

9:02 - Are The Hills contractually obligated to have Lisa Love in the opening of every show? And what the fuck is this random guy in that room with Lisa and Whitney wearing? And Kimbal (misspelling) what kind of a name is that? 

9:03 - Re-introducing Heidi’s fake friend since no one else wants to hear her thoughts. 

9:05 - An extremely boring first five minutes.  Yeah, we get it Lauren, you regret the fact that you didn’t go to Paris a couple years ago.

9:06 - Finally some fucking entertainment and it’s not from the t.v. show.  EvilFather, while I’ve been typing, randomly decided to whip out a hula hoop (that she brought with and just finished putting together) and started hooping (for lack of a better term) it up.  Those things haven’t been popular since the years when Full House was a mainstream show.  I don’t think I’ve tried doing that since I was in third grade.  I’m beyond words on that one. 

9:06 - Spencer hanging out at “who’s on third” all by himself.  What a great name for a bar.

9:07 - Spencer feeling bad about himself for walking out on Heidi and looking for advice from She-Pratt about what to do.  She-Pratt suggests he write her an e-mail.  High comedy, what an idiot, what great middle school relationship advice. 

9:08 - Lauren needs to just get drunk and go get laid and feel better about herself already, stop the pouting.

9:08 - I’ve never watched an aftershow before, let’s make tonight the first time to hear Lauren’s big announcement.  But, look at how ugly these two after show hosts are.  Outside of their ugly appearances the guy is wearing a fucking bowtie and the girl has bangs and a scratchy voice.  

9:14 - Too bad Spencer didn’t check the parking lot for her car.  Then, he could have flipped the script on her and been the angry one for having someone lie to him.

9:16 - “French accents make it sound like people are singing.” What the fuck is LC talking about?

9:18 - Lisa Love is one of those uppity fucks that I despise.  She has officially been in two more scenes than Brody so far.  Not happy about that.

9:19 - Just needed to bitch about it.  See, Brody enters the scene and I finally laugh for the first time.  “Stinky people with hairy armpits.”

9:22 - Newport Harbour: Home for the holidays.  Turns out I know what I’m writing about for the next four weeks after The Hills goes off the air.

9:26 - BooYaKaShaw sent me a text: After watching the nine minutes of commercials mtv packs between scenes its completely apparent im not the the thirteen yr old girl this show is marketing to.  

9:26 - The inevitable talk is upon us.  I love Spencer’s demeanor. ‘I know what I want’ in a complete Spencer tone.  I hate the fact that they are ending this season with them in limbo.  I see you in the tabloids every day, you guys are not even fighting.   

9:28 - Lauren showing Audrina her French Skills.  Je m’appelle _____ (this is where you say your name Lauren). 

9:29 - Brody and LC are making a big deal out of her leaving to go to one fashion show in Paris.  Isn’t she probably only gone for a couple days or a week max? 

9:30 - Not impressed with this finale.  They expanded so little from the previews.  I feel like I knew everything I saw going into this episode.  Let’s hope the aftershow is better even though the chances of that are probably zero with those hideous looking hosts. 

9:31 - For those that care, EvilFather has yet to stop hula hooping. 

9:33 - Bowtie guy just told the chick she looks fantastic.  He’s an amazing liar. 

9:34 - BooYaKaShaw sent me another text: Does this woman on the after show really need the britney style mic? If i were a producer i’d stick any object possible in front of her beak of a nose.
-Glad we are on the same page, this chick sucks.

9:35 - Get fucking serious? There are not finale parties going on across the U.S. 

9:35 - Why are they yelling into their mics, haven’t they done this after every episode? Haven’t they learned how to use the mic yet.

9:37 - I don’t even feel like breaking down much more of this aftershow.  This is wretched television.  I can’t handle this. If I didn’t want to hear Lauren’s announcement I would have turned this off. I now understand why I’ve never watched the aftershow.

9:41 - They showed Audrina in a thong bathing suit.  That was hands down my favorite moment so far tonight. 

9:46 - Alright that mixtape of comments was hilarious.  “You know why I’m mad at you, you know what you did.” 

9:50 - LC is a horrible interviewee.

10:01 - The big announcement was that this season is continuing.  Thank the lord, that explains why this was the lamest episode ever (and I was right to expect a letdown).  Glad they can come back and redeem themselves in the final two minutes.

10:02 - BooYaKaShaw sends one last one: The Trapped in the Closet dvd should not be marketed to the audience of the Hills.
-Great line. 

And here’s a link I found this week where LC admits doing re-enactments.  Not new news really, just good to see it in print.
http://peoplefalltv.wordpress.com/2007/12/10/lauren-admits-doing-re-enactments-on-the-hills/

ModelSister - Does Ron Diaz need a ticket? 3:22 p.m. 10/25/07
-Haha, he called AllAmerican Ron Diaz.  Due to the fact that my friends and I love Diaz and they don’t even have Diaz in Iowa.  Which reminds me didn’t we get Kermit to drink it this past weekend?

TwinKidMan - Hurry up im thirsty. 8:15 p.m. 10/25/07
-Two kids would make me quite thirsty as well.

TwinKidMan - Lets go to a tity bar. 8:18 p.m. 10/25/07

Johnsta - Waddup bitch school is so fucking boring! 12:37 p.m. 10/26/07
-Haha.  I never have to step foot in a classroom for the rest of my life.  That puts a smile on my face.

Fagpheus - I hate you. 9:09 p.m. 10/26/07
Fagpheus - you are taking forever. that is grounds for hatred. 9:11 p.m. 10/26/07
-A little harsh I’d say. 

NBA JAM - Nigger. 9:39 p.m. 10/26/07

KrautyMcKrautFace - BergTurd, PattyMobody and EricAwe are dancing. Gay gay gay. 9:46 p.m. 10/26/07

ToadCock - well since i am not there you wont have to worry bout gettin in fights, babysitting, a blocked view of the head, or gay comments. I hate all of u. 8:59 a.m. 10/27/07
-Happy thoughts

Mr.Pessisimist - We should have left. 12:27 p.m. 10/27/07
-Text I received before the Hawkeyes came back to beat Northwestern.

Doober - Fuck yea iowa! Get crunk and take a shot for me..Or 10. 1:35 p.m. 10/27/07

PussyDabbler - Nigger. 2:03 p.m. 10/27/07

Bogartz - Wow very impressive. 3:07 p.m. 10/28/07
-In regards to 9 rounds with the porcelain god.
http://michaelmoller.com/wordpress/archives/244

Rasmus - Shampoo effect…ive been boozing again, little over an hour now. Think im drunk already. Miss you. 4:57 p.m. 10/28/07
-Shampoo effect, interesting analogy, never heard that one before.  I don’t know if I even get it.  And you’re a guy, you can’t say you miss me, you mean you miss my drinking skills.

TurdBurglar - you could almost see his prick in that naked scene 9:07 p.m. 10/30/07
-TB wants Christian Troy almost as bad as I want Eden.

PussyDabbler - Buzzs girlfriend. 10:33 a.m. 10/31/07
-Woof

BuiltLikeMachine - Quite possibly a decent okay pretty good chance. 5:05 p.m. 10/31/07
-Really enjoyed that one

PussyDabbler - Cherish your life… 11:51 a.m. 11/1/07
-Fucking Saw.  Those movies are disturbing

Mr.Pessimist - Jeff George? Hell yea ur probs r over! 3:56 p.m. 11/1/07
-Krauty can you guess who this is? A friend of ours from college.

Mr.Pessimist - Shouldnt that guy b dead by now?? 4:10 p.m. 11/01/07
-I’m pretty glad the Vikes didn’t pick up Jeff George, T-Jack is playing mistake free football right now.

D - So can’t find anyone so far…and I donated blood today so I don’t know if its a good idea to drink! Lol. 4:49 p.m. 11/01/07
-Clearly, it’s always a good idea to drink.  Plus, then imagine how drunk you can get.  On an unrelated note, she did go out and that was the night we went to see Brody Jenner.

Mr.Pessimist - Sup darlin? we still hangin out? 7:31 p.m. 11/01/07
-Haha, I love getting texts that weren’t supposed to come to me.  Especially when my friend is using some lame first line like ’sup darlin.’  Good stuff

Milf - Spin is going to be hot tonight are you in or what
-I can’t believe I actually agree with her.  Fucking Spin.  For the record it was really funny watching Milf back at her stomping grounds from her little 18 year old days.

Nanner - I JUST Saw WHITNEY FROM THE HILLS! 11:25 p.m. 11/2/07
-So jealous.

K-Bex - Try checking on AllAmerican if you can. Tried moving him out of the bathroom but he wouldn’T move. love you two. Gnight! 2:08 a.m. 11/3/07
-He’s just passed out, no worries.  And for that matter I hate texts sent to multiple people, they don’t make sense.  Love you two.  I’m one fucking person.

Liz Luke - We dont know yet…Gettin crunked. 9:06 p.m. 11/3/07
-Non ghetto girl texted me the word crunk.  Hilarious

Boobins - I had a weird dream about you last night…Its kinda long so ill send you a message on facebook later. 8:09 a.m. 11/6/07
-Here’s the dream http://michaelmoller.com/wordpress/archives/254

Milf - Have you read your page comments yet today? Who are these people thinking your gay? 9:08 a.m. 11/6/07
-Kind of a funny comment considering all the drama that ensued after a friend called me gay.

Gizard’sLilSis - Holy shit!!!!!!!! So many haters ha why spend the time reading it then??? 4:14 p.m. 11/6/07
-That’s my exact point I make to everyone.  I’m not making anyone read.  If you don’t like my stuff go elsewhere.

D - You are going to hate me…but you will appreciate it…guess where I am right now!? Courtside at the twolves!!!! 7:06 p.m. 11/6/07
-Hate you.

Milf - Holy shit totally didn’t see that one coming about julia! 9:32 p.m. 11/6/07
-Agreed, but it was a great plot twist.  And now hopefully she dies in this weeks episode.