Archive for November 22nd, 2007

I’m sure I’ll have an article about last night in the coming week.  Here’s last years story (Originally Nov. 30, 2006).  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  Consume all the food, booze and football your body allows.  And most importantly everyone watch Kare 11 (t.v. network for you randoms) tomorrow (Friday the 22nd) at 10:30.  Our store’s manager and I are being interviewed about our store and the current promotion we are having.  It’s not something cool where Kare 11 asks us to come on.  We had to pay $2,000 for the advertisement (which is a great deal by the way considering how much commercials and other types of advertisement cost).  But, the interview is live, so if I fuck up I’m screwed.  They will then be running it on their website for the next month.  So, if I don’t fuck up too bad I’ll post a link to my broke ass on T.V.

Wednesday…The Annual Eagan reunion night.  I was told by someone that this is the biggest drinking night of the year.  I guess that makes sense as no one in America has to work the day after.  So for us, it’s pretty much tradition for anyone from the ages of 21 to 25 to go up to Old Chicago the day before Thanksgiving.  The people you can find there range from your best friends to people you expected might have had kids (shit TwinKidMan did), or just fucking toolboxes/losers going nowhere in life.  The best part about this night is looking at how fat people got.  It’s hilarious how at one point you might have given a left nut to sleep with these women and now you’re afraid they’ll crush one of your nuts if you dare sleep with them.  Not saying I haven’t gained a few pounds as I have, but I don’t have rolls growing upon rolls.  A couple girls (a.k.a. Tina) stayed about the same and you would still give anything to bone.  As for the guys they don’t change at all in terms of personalities.  None of them grow up, they’re still the same old smart asses, which is probably going to get them real far in life, right.  Well at least they’re saving on rent and still living with the rents.  All in all as much as I might bash these people, that evening is always a blast.  I barely talk to any of my good friends the entire evening.  Instead I feel the need to talk to all these people I could care less about.  I don’t know why but I love having the exact conversation 12 times in a row.  I can guarantee these questions and statements were made in the context of 95% of the conersations that evening.  Hey what’s up.  Long time no see.  What you up to now? Just graduated and moved back with my parents, haven’t found a job yet.  Still in school.  We should meet up some time.  It’s ridiculous I really could care less about answers to any of these questions.  The only meaningful thing I heard the whole night was I’m glad to hear you recovered well from your hospital experience in Greece/Denmark.  See that meant something, even if that happened two years ago, the guy actually cared or at least did a damn good job at acting like he cared.  Best part of the night, was watching Roberts running around like a kid in a zoo (perfect analogy by the way).  He went up to every girl at the bar and tried to tell each girl how he had a crush on them in high school and try and use that as his in.  Unfortunately, they saw through his third grade game.  The zoo analogy works, the animals/vaginas were just in there cages/clothes, they could have come out to play, but because of his broke ass game he got nowhere. 

As for the night, we all did our usual ridiculous amounts of drinking before the bar and at the bar.  Thankfully EvilFather called her mom and she picked us up at the bar.  Good idea to not drink and drive, but bad idea to shack at EvilFather’s place.  Since, father to EvilFather no longer lives there I remember telling EvilFather I was going to fuck around with her mom and see how she reacts, so all of this is a joke people.  I guess the mom came in and I had already jumped in her bed for the night.  Surprisingly, she came in and slept in the bed, but as far away as humanly possible.  Keeping in mind I was joking, I propositioned the mom to make out with me probably 20 times.  She continually denied me but I remember it being hilarious.  I woke up the next morning with gum all over my arms (and it hurt like hell to get off the next day) and the mom was not happy as I guess I got the gum all over her bedspread, tough luck I guess for not making out with me, I’m sure I would have removed my gum (joke).