Archive for November 6th, 2007

Lisa Love in the first scene.  Barf.  Seriously, she looks like Cruella de Vil without the dye job.  She needs some fucking botox already.  Come on she lives in Hollywood, it shouldn’t be hard to find.  All you Spencer haters can at least admit Lisa Love is worse for the show than Spencer.

Heidi at her fake job with her fake receptionist.  The fake receptionist looks a lot better looking this episode, can’t pinpoint what it is.  Haha, fake receptionist is older than Heidi, that’s a little awkward.  Heidi just said she had the most growth in her life from age 20 to age 21.  I think I sprouted the most in terms of height from age 10-11.  In terms of penis size around age 12-13, when I finally figured out what it was and that what my penis was doing was having an erection.  In terms of growth as a human, I still haven’t.  And from ages 20-21 every college aged kid is not growing as a person, unless you count growing as becoming more efficient at spitting game (a.k.a. getting laid), saving money, and/or managing your drinking schedule.

Audrina is back after what seems like a month long break.  And she is still dating Justin Bobby.  What the hell, why haven’t they been shown in the episodes recently?

Teen Vogue party.  Lame.  Starsky’s bored.

Spencer scenes with Heidi were much better when Spencer was a mischevious cheating whore.  I miss those days.  Now they just exchange awkward dumb glances for a minute or two and ask each other what’s wrong, claim nothing’s wrong and the scene is over.  They are doing nothing for the show currently.  Give me more drama Spencer.  Quit playing squash already.

Lauren and Whitney stressing at Teen Vogue.  Starsky’s still bored.

Justin Bobby, thank you.  Some entertainment already.  Audrina gets hit on by some Australian looking scraggily haired member of this band they went to an after bar with.  And the Australian guy is asking Justin Bobby if Audrina is available.  And his answer to every question he asks is never a yes or no or a direct answer, but always ’she’s good.’  Fucking hilarious.

Previews for next week look good.  LC and Heidi finally have a real conversation.

No Brody appearance this episode.  A little disheartening, but that’s alright my awesome ass already got my fill for the week.  See, I decided last Thursday night to go a danceclub (cocaine haven) called Spin in downtown Minneapolis.  I have always despised this bar and the dirty old men and little girls that frequent these types of places.  But, I heard Brody Jenner was going to be there and decided to go.  My whole point in going was to hopefully chat him up and see what kind of a person he really was.  Back when I was at the University of Iowa and quasi celebrities came to the bars, I’d always go to those bars and chat them up.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way at Spin (a bar that stamps the word ROCKIN on your hand) as they kept him in a bouncer managed V.I.P. area where vagina is only allowed to troll around.  This was completely disheartening, but I was still able to make a few assessments.  One, in a crowd of people ranging in age from about 17-24 he is a huge fucking celebrity.  It was like he was Britney or Lindsay, he brought along his own entourage (Frankie and five beautiful blondes), and had bodyguards with him.  He was more difficult to get to than a virgin’s box.  Two, he carried himself extremely well.  After arriving he basically stood on an elevated box for 20 minutes and let people take pictures of him.  Adjusting his hat, chugging a bottle of champagne, fake fliriting with girls, and keeping a genuine smile on his face the whole time.  And three, he knew how to play the crowd.  Several times he was given the mic and got people really pumped up.  One time he even took off his shirt and threw into the crowd.  At that moment every girl in the place wet themselves including D and Milf.  But, the highlight of my evening at this bar, was having an 18 year old guy come up to me and ask me to buy him a drink.  Get fucking serious kid.