Archive for March 15th, 2007

A random Friday…I can’t remember much of anything from this evening.  I do remember playing Lucky all night before the bar and Fritzagizard getting his first win ever (keep in mind in a 3 person game), some 13-14 games into our season.  Fritzagizard being 3000% at fault for getting in a fight with his girlfriend and seemingly finding a way to blame it on her.  He was also 3000% at fault for the, no joke 4-5 fights that broke out that night after the bar. 

AllAmerican was unexplainably pushed by a fat black kid, whom we had befriended earlier that night.  And then all the fights broke out.  Everyone migrated from fight to fight just trying to keep The Gizard out of harm’s way because a million people wanted to kill him.  I on the other hand was about to start a fight with a guy, when he says to me, “hey man, I’m there best fighter and I just really don’t feel like kicking your ass, so you want to just stand to the side and watch the fight.”  Clearly, that sounded like an ingenious idea to me as I’m often the one at the center of the fight and this guy would’ve probably beat the hell out of me.  So, I think this was the first time I ever watched a fight drunk.  There was a lot less fighting than I expected, just tons of pushing, screaming and then cops coming.  By the time the cops got there Fritzagizard was about six blocks away (little did we know) because these guys were chasing him.  So, we hopped in a cab without him assuming he’d find his way back (since his dad and brother were at the bar) and started heading home and see Fritzagizard many blocks from the fight with a bunch of guys around him.  We scream for him to hop in and we’re off, completely avoiding the cops and any legal ramifications. 

What it boils down to, is Gizard was basically being just a fucking cock the entire evening.  He was pissing off everyone standing at the bar.  He was being ‘that guy’ that wouldn’t move away from the bar after he got his drink.  Come to think of it those guys used to really piss me off in college by basically cock blocking everyone else from getting liquor.

Side Note 67: No side note to attach this to, but while I was writing this I was watching tonight’s Road Rules show.  I burst out laughing, when during tonight’s challenge Adam said, “Shane and I feel most comfortable catching.”  There’s clearly only one way to take this…Shane (the gay guy) catches….haha.

And here’s the guilty party, I mean Fritzagizard’s take on the night/situation.

I completely resent this entire article.  I did not start the fight…the douche bag’s girlfriend was being an incredible bitch, so I decided to spite her and gay ass friends in a non-violent way.  None of this would have happened if every hot girl in a bar did not assume that guys are supposed to buy drinks all night for them…What bullshit…bring your own money you stupid whores…fuck!  Here is the exact conversation as I was going to buy shots for AllAmerican and myself:

Me:  “I’ll take two red headed sluts”
Bitch:  “No, I don’t like jag, get something else for us”
Me: “That’s great, but they’re not for you”
Bitch: “Well you don’t have to be an ass about it”
Me: “Well you don’t have to be a bitch about it…find another guy to mooch off of.”
Fuckface: “Hey don’t talk to her like that…in fact why don’t you get the fuck out of here”
Me: “No thanks, I’m good.  You can leave if you want.”  

From there on out, I only spoke when they talked shit to me.  Additionally, the reason the fight started outside the bar was because the whore began to punch me once we were both outside…so I replied “Jesus, my arm hurts incredibly bad, I might need medical attention because your so strong.”  Then fuckface (boyfriend) says “I’m gonna kick your ass faggot.” and I said, “Not necessary, just get your whore of a girlfriend off the street before she starts turning tricks.”  Then he and a shitload of other random people decided to fight everyone in sight.  Specifically, four of them decided to chase me for nine blocks in order to  apparently “teach me a lesson.”  So I did what any self respecting man would do, called them all pussies and ran away, because unless you are Stevan Segal…you are going to lose that fight.  After believing they would let up after a while, as most people would, they didn’t so I called the cops and hopped in the cab.

Also, referring to the fight with Boobies…Although she deserved more attention that night, her anger was extremely misplaced.  The fight actually stemmed from several nights of the same problem which has now been resolved. 

3000% my fault, I don’t think so….I’m a math teacher and know that it couldn’t be more than 100% my fault…

With that said, it was only about 1200% my fault.