Archive for January 30th, 2007

This weekend was so ridiculous that it will be told in multiple parts for the next couple days because otherwise the one article would be about 20 pages long. 

Thanks Man…At Sports Column on Saturday night I befriended some random guy.  God knows why I did, but he seemed cool at the time.  He offered to buy me a shot and then we get up to the bar and we stand there talking for like 10 minutes and he never buys shit.  Eventually, I just meander back over to my friends.  I’m busy talking to TheDiesel and KrautyMcKrautFace, when I decide to offer them and this new guy a shot.  Krauty suggests Tequilla and there was no arguing that genius idea.  So, I buy four shots of Tequilla and hand them to each person.  I haven’t picked my shot up yet to take as I’m handing out the shots.  They for some reason decided not to wait for me and then all 3 took the shots.  Well, the new guy was positioned so that he had to rotate his body to take the shots with Diesel and Krauty.  Gayly, while he rotated his body, the coat he was holding knocked my beer and shot to the ground, breaking both and rendering me drinkless.  Surprisingly, none of the three noticed it happen.  And the new guy turns to me, pats me on the back and says thanks man.  I, was so caught off guard by these events I just kind of stared at the ground and him and said nothing.  He walks away and nothing happens.  Later, I see him again and he offers to buy me a shot (he finally fucking did).  In my mind I’m thinking fuck this idea; the first time you hosed me and bought me nothing and the second time I spent 20 bucks and got absolutely nothing.  All that kept running through my head was ‘thanks man’ the rest of the night.

Unbelievable road trip banter about sex…Fritzigard and myself doing most of the talking and Wife (Bochelle’s new nickname) chiming in with great comments from a woman’s perspective.  During the road trip, every time someone puts something correctly into perspective I always said well put.  It’s one of my phrases I overuse and eventually people start to say.  By, the end of the weekend Wife had already started using it.  One of my other phrases I also overused back in college was using the term box for any reference to a vagina.  Wife told me it had rubbed off on her roommate from one weekend of hanging out with me and she has only referred to it as box for the past 3 years.  Pretty proud of myself.

Friday Night pre-drinking…We started at PussyDabblers, HogginBoys and Peanut Butter’s (there new 3rd roommate, decent drinker, nice guy).  Rasmus brought over some random foreign guys.  One, in particular was named Shin and was funny as hell.  English was definately not his native tongue, which is what made him hysterical.  A bunch of freshman girls that we knew came over and drank like champs.  The funny part is I bought them two bottles of booze the first night.  Fritzagizard (who deserves props for drinking like his old self this weekend) and myself were taking shots like water and making many people join in all the time.  But, by the time we had pre-drank for a little over an hour we were already out of liquor, so we had to buy the bottle back from the girls.  Lots of fun had by all before the bar.  But, we split up and Fritz went with the girls to Summit and myself and everyone else went to Field House. 

Field House…Tons of free drinks with pitcher deals is the only thing I remember from the bar.  I was so drunk that it turns out I convinced PussyDabbler to leave with me at like 1:00 so we could go find Fritzgaizard so he didn’t get lost for the night.  But, my drunk ass walks over with PDabbler and Wife and I was informed I just up and left them right when we were walking into the bar.  Can’t say I remember doing it, but I felt like a dick the next day.  I was blacked out to the point that I must have gone to two bars by myself (I’m assuming to meet up with old friends) within the next hour because I had wristbands from bars that I didn’t know I attended on my wrist the next morning.  Turns out, PussyDabbler was pretty pissed at me when I got home and he didn’t even end up finding Fritzagizard at Summit.  CareBear was busy eating some guys face at Summit I was informed and brought the guy home and made out with him some more before making him leave.  Poor guy, I’ve never had that happen to me, but if I went back to a girl’s room, made out with her and then was told to leave, I’m pretty sure I would be crushed.  Fritzagizard and I somehow randomly ran into each other outside Taco Bell and were the two happiest people in Iowa City when we found each other as we were both fairly lost by ourselves freezing our balls off.