Archive for December 20th, 2006

Helped implement an open door policy while shitting at his residences at Notre Dame.  Graduated last spring with a finance degree and works in Chicago and lives with Version4.0.  Name stems from the fact that one time during this open door policy accidently wiped a little too much with too little paper.  And by that I mean yelled to me, hey mikey come look I got shit on my finger.  Another story of his I love, is while driving on the highway one time called the number on those trucks that asks how’s my driving? When you do so, you have to give all sorts of information, like what mile marker, what highway, what car, what license plate number and then they ask what’s your complaint?  So, ShitFinger instead of compaining goes off about how good the guys driving was.  He mentioned the driver of said number of vehicle was doing a phemonal job of maintaining steady speed in a difficult driving environment.  He emphasized just how impeccable his lane changing was.  And pointed out that he had perfect timing and forewarning when using his turning signal.  Most importantly deserves props for the fact that he is completely forthcoming with information regarding his small penis, poor endurance and inability to get women off. 

Drinking Ability: Would have been significantly improved if he had drank with me for four years. (5)
Ability to get Ass: Blowjob…notice that the word is singular.  Thus, he has only received one blowjob in his entire life at age 22.  Speechless, you should all be.  (0)
Smartassness: The biggest and possibly the best I know. (10)
Ability to make others laugh: Again, unbelievable (9)
Text Messaging Skills: Solid. (7)
Streetsmarts: Helped get a midget to attempt to give me a lap dance (a.k.a. me sprinting out the bar), huge loss of points of here. (4)
Booksmarts: Smart kid. (8)
VideogameAbilities: Quite poor (3)
FantasySkills: So far, from what I’ve seen leaves a lot to be desired.  Yet 1/1 at making the playoffs with me. (4)
Likely to be a good parent one day?: As long as he doesn’t tramautize his children with all of his insults. (5)
Overall Rating as a Person Based on this Scale: 5.5