Archive for October, 2006

Contrary to popular belief among my friends, my danishness has absolutely no correlation to my unworldly drinking abilities.  Last night, I took DanishGuy#1 out for his 24th birthday.  People kept telling him how much I could drink, blah blah blah.  He wasn’t worried he kept saying how he hasn’t throwed up in years and how he would try and drink with me.  I’ve heard this before, good luck buddy.  So, we polish off a 1 liter of gin with various mixed drinks and shots before the bar.  Then we get to the bar, rip a couple tequila shots and start chugging beers, pretty much a usual night for me.  But, the poor guy’s face progressed throughout the night from extremely excited to party with me to oh this ain’t that bad to holy fuck how do i get out of this situation without a doctor pumping my stomach. By 11:30 DanishGuy#2 told me had to take him home as DanishGuy#1 had passed out on the bar.  Then, I find myself left alone, so I see some friends and talked to them the rest of the night I was told, but basically I think I was paying them off with shots for the babysitting fees.  And oh yeah, I put drunk driving to shame this morning.   I saw a cop on the road and instead of casually slowing down to the speed limit I decided to not very casually swerve across two lanes and exit the highway.  Thankfully, I lucked out, but god do I not recommend it…….

I’ve become so obsessed with sports gambling in the past month, that I have spent all free time not drinking and working researching sports betting.  I’ve decided I’m going to rededicate myself to this site, as my drinking story material has not slowed down at all, I’ve just become lazy.  Before drinking stories, I still have one work story stuck in my head from about a week ago.  So, this lady in her 60’s probably, comes in looking for sleeper couchs.  So, I take her to this one, that’s very unique and basically just resembles a classy futon.  Except where a futon, slides out so it’s evenly spaced on the metal frame this one doesn’t.  Little did I know there are legs inside the cushion I’m supposed to pull out.  I pull out the couch and the elder lady attempts to lay down.  Instead, the image could best be described as her Tackling the couch (turns out couches don’t double as tackling dummies).  She tries to lay down on the side without the legs extended and flips the couch over her and lands directly on the hard floor.  It looked so painful and all I could do was stand there and laugh.  I did help her up, but the damage was done, her husband and her were not going to buy any furniture after that incident.  But, losing a $1000 sale for that sight was well worth it.  Imagine that sight 60 year old lady flips couch, which lands on top of her and hits hard floor painfully.  Haha