Archive for August, 2006

Great weekend, felt like I was back in college.

I don’t get mad about big things in life, my mind has instead decided to tweak about little things that shouldn’t matter.  A.K.A. tweaking on my roomate and a trash can last night.  Early on Fritzagizard, who’s a nympho was giving me way too much shit about not sleeping with a girl.  I do have some morals.  He then flicked me in the vicinity of my eye, it was the opposite of pleasant.  So, then I called him a toolbox and he for some reason hates that word and wasn’t a fan of me calling him that, but the issue was temporarily dropped.  Then he starts pissing me off more on the walk to the bars, which escalated to hard pushing and thankfully me taking it out on a trash can and cutting my hand in two spots. Thankfully, Fritzagizard completely redeemed himself, by leaving the situation and my tweek mode and attending Micky’s Diner by himself for the evening.

Found a new bar last night, with a college crowd in downtown Saint Paul, very happy about that because it means it’s within walking distance.

Friday Night, went to the Vikes game.  4 observations…1: way too many hot chicks at vikes games and surprisingly in groups of only girls…2nd: TW Troy Williamson is going to break out this year, he’s got all the intangibles and the man can flat out fly.  3rd: TJ Tavaris Jackson will be a stud QB in this league, he’s a clone of Michael Vick in looks and athletic ability, the juke moves he has are only matched by running backs.  4th: Can’t wait to watch the TW to TJ hook up for years.  It still will never match Daunte to Randy, but all I can do is hope. 

Went to a bar with Coach after that, love that man, he knows how to swindle the ladies.  Unbelievable game for a dad. 

After this weekend, Fritzagizard and I are officially addicted to Mario Kart Battle drinking.  We have gotten obliterated the past 3 evenings on that game alone.  Fritzagizard is officially also addicted to the Dane Cook voice and quotes him virutally every sentence, it’s starting to get real old.

Ooooh…keeper league draft tonight, so excited

Bill Simmons just told me Forbes.com voted Minneapolis/Saint Paul the #2 drunkest city in the U.S.  I’m so proud of that stat.

So, girl from two nights ago, officially on my annoying girl list.  She told the girl I slept in her bed with that I called people bragging about it.  Um, first of all I can retell stories to friends whenever the fuck I please. Second, the next morning retelling stories to friends ends up being just as entertaining as the actually doing it part.  Thirdly, I absolutely called this one girl, to get the profile on the girl I slept with (but not in that way).  Fourthly and most importantly, don’t fucking try to cock block me.

Went to this bar I don’t like last night.  So, I guess I was in drunk asshole mode because I was told the next morning that several girls asked me to stop being such an ass, haha.  Don’t remember it, but I’m sure I said some funny fucking shit to say.  Ooh, one thing I remember is they said, I kept calling these girls dirty whores, haha it’s funny cause it’s so true.

Weird thing TwinKidMan allowed Fritzagizard to make out with his future wife and mother of his kids, watching that was just downright fucking CREEPY. 

p.s. hate the lodge, can’t explain it, it just vibes me the wrong way, everyone there just trying too hard to fit in….maybe that’s it, actually that is a solid description

Jack of Spades…fucking never remember when I go back to this later…why would I write Jack of Spades…hmmm…But it does remind me that I was still so drunk driving the next morning that I went the wrong way home and instead of driving to Saint Paul, I drove to Minneapolis.  Not only that but when I realized it and turned around, I hit rush hour traffic, so annoying.

Random Unexpected Drinking always turns out amazing…a.k.a. a Wednesday night.

Vindictive Motherfucker I am…So, this girl invites me over to her place to booze and then go to the bars.  I go over there, I’m the only guy and we go to the bar.  She’s off in la la land leaving me alone with her friends.  I think she liked me, but when you treat me like that, I say fuck you.  Turns out it was a good decision to ignore her the rest of the night, her rommate was a great girl, got drunk with her and had a blast, then slept in her bed to piss off the initial girl, but got no sleep and I’m absolutely exhausted at work.

En Fuego…to say that I am on top of my salesman schmooze game would be the understatement of the century.  I could sell anything right now.  Just sold $10,000 worth of furniture within an hour to 3 different customers, faja needs to pay me more.  I’m such a better salesman, when I’m in a drunk/hungover state.  It’s a give/take on that one, because although I’m a better salesman in that state, I often stumble into work way too late.

Tiger Woods…a.k.a. The Robot…Lost so much respect for the man, after last weekend in Chicago at the PGA Championship.  First of all, seeing a golf tournament live enhances this sport infinitely.  Seriously, so boring on T.V.  Anyway, Tiger doesn’t even look like he has fun out there.  No smiles, barely acknowledges the crowd, plays perfect and yeah has his gorgeous wife following him to every hole.  This really has affected my thoughts on him forever.  By default my new favorite golfer is Thomas Bjorn.

Realize I should comment on last weekend.  But it goes against the two things I don’t talk about on here.  So, leaving out that stuff it was just plain good fun.  Watersports, fucked up my arm, hung out with young chicks, got so ridiculous…yep everything you could want in a weekend..  Story time: I was so messed up I couldn’t even tell that a girl wanted on me, a.k.a. at least 10 people told me to get on her, so when my drunk unhumane state decides to try, I was told by the chick that I was too messed up so she didn’t want to do anything.  Seriously…i need to be hungover to write, I just worked for the last couple hours and lost my hangover/drunk state, frustrated.  So, this first paragraph was written sober, which is obviously much less entertaining than the stuff below, so for that I apologize.

umm..jon benet thing creeps me out…first of all that girl was hot at that young age, anyone who even tries to disagree is lying to themselves….second of all how does a crime like that not get solved, HOW?…third, i still don’t like the parents, even if it was an outside party, something’s still fishy there…fourth, it’s finally solved…fifth, poor girl, rest in peace beautiful

still hammered, feel unsafe…felt unsafe driving to work, raining hard and my depth perception was off…maybe that’s because of the following game

vodka is evil by the way for multiple reasons

1) tried to sneak it into the twins game and the motherfucking security guard took it and threw it away, meanny.  Ruined the boozing for the night at the Twins game.  We scored 5 in the 8th to win, it was tight.  But, $6 beers is frustrating.  Vodka refused to be beaten and thrown away and decided it was going to have the best of me last night.

2) First, who the fuck plays mario kart (battle on skyscraper) while drunk.  Listen to the game we created and you’ll understand why vodka is evil…preface, i was planning on making it to work by 6 a.m. so I could leave early today to drive to madison, little did I know I would struggle to make it here by 10 and now try and dip by 3…haha love being the bosses son…back to story…Skyscraper battle when you’re drunk goes so fast, it’s seriously difficult, dare you to try.  So, we played 3 player…Fritzagizard, Murph, Myself…If anyone won 2 straight, the other person had to take a shot of vodka.  Bad idea, Vodka won.  Way too many shots and what sucks is the more you lose the worse you play because you’ve drank too much, devastating cycle.   Final tally Vodka 2 Mikey 0 and angry hangover.