Archive for the 'The Real World and Challenges' Category

I feel obligated to do one last blog on the show, since this was my favorite season so far.

1) Andy Dick is a loser

2) Joey is the man. But, his girlfriend Malaine is not attractive, he can do infinitely better. BooYaKaShaw texted me: Okay this maLAME chick is joey’s antidrug? If I dated this broad I’d be doing every drug imaginable to forget I was dating her.

3) Janelle still sucks. I hate just seeing her face, it bugs me. I can’t wait until she watches last week’s show on t.v. and ses he faked the tears

4) Dave got sucker punched in the bar. And then an all out brawl started outside the bar. I wish I was watching it on my Tivo right now, I want to see that fight in slow motion again. Dave got dropped and The$2Hooker looked like the toughest one of the group. Joey was definately needed for that fight.

5) Will whipped off his belt and tried to use it as a weapon because he is probably a pussy fighter. Nick tossed some guy and got no credit for that. Dave has a nice little shiner now.

6) Will gave Joey great advice when Joey was down there, see those impromptu classes are paying off.

7) Joey’s going back to the house. Excellent. D made a great point, she said, “I’m sure Joey will love rewatching this show and seeing how genuinely excited everyone was to hear he was returning to the house.”

Hancock preview. I actually saw that this week. Wasn’t expecting much going in and it was a pleasant surprise and a a pretty solid movie. Charlize Theron looks amazing in the movie and Will Smith is the man.

9) Paramount Studios did look like The Truman Show, great point Kimberley. That’s something I never thought I’d say.

10) Shana Moakler has really gone down hill. Or maybe it’s just the fact that she has clothes on.

11) Sarah was definately the best interviewer. Nick cut off Shana and Kimberley failed miserably in every way.

12) All I see when I look at Joey is hair. BooYaKaShaw texted: Do they not have barbers in chicago? Joey’s hair is so long he looks like some sort of Tekken character.

13) Will just stole fake flowers. Hilarious. That was eerily reminiscent of the time that Johanna went to jail.

14) I fucking hate commercials. I don’t know what I would do without TiVo, these commercials have been dreadful.

15) The$2Hooker is really good at improv and quite entertaining. Who would have known.

16) Who will be the last roommate. I’m guessing The$2Hooker, she has probably had the most happen to her.

17) Almost shedding some man tears, it is always sad watching the roommates leave.

18) How did I never catch that The$2Hooker was so funny. She is ridiculous, running out touching everything in the house, good stuff. Oh, I know how, I could never get over the way she looked.

19) I called the last roommate. I actually in my head predicted that exact order.

Previews: The ending of one show and the beginning of another. Survivor twist to this season’s Challenge show. Derrick is back, hell yes. Cohutta and Dave make their debuts. And I think I caught Johanna making out with Kenny. The Island. Oh my god, that looks UNREAL.

I didn’t do a review of last week’s episode, but I did jot down a few thoughts. 

1)      Joey’s friend Mike was a complete asshole

2)     Throughout the episode I kept thinking about how obvious it was that Joey has stopped taking the steroids after rehab.  He looks significantly smaller from the beginning of the season.

3)     The housemates did a very poor job at trying to keep Joey there.  Especially Dave and Will.  If you are his boys you need to make it known that you want him there.  Instead of Dave lamely saying, “you know I want you here, but ultimately it’s your own decision.”

4)     I was quite pumped that I nailed the steroids (eventhough it was quite obvious) as Joey admitted to it during his goodbye letter.  In the letter he stated at age 19 he ballooned to a 5’9” 250 pound monster.  That’s fucking crazy.  And for that matter so was his story.  I agree with Dave’s analysis after the story, that we should feel fortunate to never have it that bad.

As for this week’s review.  Looking forward to meeting two new castmates.

5)     I like the beat of that song in the opening scene.  And they didn’t display the artist and song for once, damn.

6)     The$2Hooker had her best line of the year.  I want the new girl to be a whore and have sex with every guy in the house.  Amen to that.  That would make for great T.V.

7)     Janelle is not attractive.  I hated her in her season, why couldn’t he date a Real World alum that’s cool and hot.  I’m sure they are all in Hollywood trying to make it big.

     Haha, all the fresh meat challenge people were hanging out together at some bar.  And then Evan finally makes his first appearance on Real World.  I remember JohnnyBananas used to give him shit since Evan couldn’t make it on the show eventhough he tried out.

9)     Really excited to watch Dave do the Improv durnk.  Similar to him I claim I think I’d do things better drunk.  Lets put this theory to the test.

10) Dave fucked up bad.  Funny to watch though.  All in all I thought the whole performance was pretty weak though.

11)  Fucking with the new roommate.  I like this idea.  And then Dave somehow forgets.  How is that possible you just discussed it?

12)  Nick is clearly going to be better for the roommates than Greg but Greg didn’t make good T.V. eventhough he was a dousche.

13)  Brittini is replacing Joey.  No one can compare to him.  She seems nice and oddly attractive, very modelesque.

14) Will to Janelle when she left for the night, “goodnight love you.”  Really?  Hurry up and cheat on her already.

15)  Reva (the whore who hooked up with Will and Greg) just tried to make out with Nick.  Jesus Christ those girls suck.

16)  Sarah how can you mock Will for flirting with the new girl.  You fucking made out with Will night one when you had a boyfriend.  Sarah, you suck at life.

17)  Dave’s hosting was the easiest thing ever.  I love how big of a deal he made of it, that was nothing.

18)  Just realized something.  4 of the 9 people this year have been African American.  That’s got to be some kind of record.

19)  Quite surprised Will showed restraint for once.  Really wish he hadn’t.

20)  I love how MTV points out that Adam from the Real World was in a scene and then he never speaks once.  What was the point of that?

21)  See now this is actually hosting Dave.  You are introducing some stand up acts but you have to make them laugh as well.  Not just state who is there tonight.  But, he did a great job making the crowd laugh and so forth, so good work Davey.

Previews: Sarah gets too drunk and shows her true colors.  BEING A BITCH

1) How can they possibly follow up last week’s perfect episode.

2) Joey’s back, very nice.  I bet he doesn’t even last this episode before he starts drinking again.

3) Bipolar Meds?  Shouldn’t they just tell him to stop taking the steroids, wouldn’t that make more sense?

4) How have I never thought of this before.  How do they go without cell phones?  I lose mine and I’m without a phone for a day and my whole life collapses.

5) Poor Joey.  I really feel bad for him, he’s in a situation where he won’t be allowed to get past his problems. 

6) I have to watch commercials tonight.  Lame. 

7) Haha, MTV is shamelessly promoting the program I’m already watching by having a Real World commercial during the show.  Talk about overkill.

That new Michael Myers movie looks dumb.  The Love Guru.  Get serious.

9) Joey is already getting mad that they’re going out.  He really has no chance.  I miss drunk Joey, can he drink just one night for me and then throw Greg through a wall for me.

10) I never liked Janelle.  I hope Will fucks her in the ass. 

11) Dave doing shotgun beers.  Straight class Davey.  Good Stuff.

12) Greg is gonna get kicked off if he skips this next meeting.

13) How do none of his roommates not realize he is on steroids?  He is tweaking out sober. 

14) Nothing like a dirty looking black guy telling me to wrap my tool in that commercial.  I think he should be the one wrapping up so his disease infested body doesn’t transmit shit.

15) Will just used the Kindergarten Crush line again.  I thought they had gave that up.

16) The$2Hooker heads to court.  Maybe this time she hired a lawyer.

17) I’m pumped for the new M. Night Shymalan movie.  Surprised Marky Mark is in one of his movies though.

18) PussyDabbler just texted me.  He nailed it, “This episode is so boring.”

19) They are all pre drinking before their improv performance.  Nothing like settling the nerves.  

20) WTF, that is a great group name.  Whiskey _______ Foxtrot. Shit I forgot the middle word.  Whoever came up with that is brilliant.  

21) Spencer’s new commercial is hilarious.  So sarcastic, that was awesome.  That was the best 30 seconds of t.v. so far tonight.

22) PDabs texted again: Perfect…cant stand joey…so annoying.  Haha, PDabs is losing his mancrush.

23) Starsky’s Bored.  This episode needs to pick it up already.  So, they follow up the best episode in the past 5 years by one of the worst ever.  For the first time ever I don’t like the fact that it’s an hour long episode.

24) Greg just got kicked off the show.  I knew that was going to happen for a while now.  Never read message boards on pre recorded shows from months earlier.  As much as I hate him, some funny shit did happen because of him.  Plus I never got to see someone beat the hell out of him, I feel like I’ve been deprived of something I deserved to see.

25) Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.  There it is.

Previews: The next episode can’t possibly be this bad again.  But, it looks like it is going to be the same premise unfortunately.  Hopefully we at least get a new roommate.

I chose that title because it was my favorite episode of Real World since Real World San Diego. 

1) Since I didn’t blog the last episode, I’m going to preface this one with the fact that I think Reva is a whore.  And without her bitchassness none of this would have happened.

2) Haha, Greg broke the punching bag.  Nothing like another unnecessary confidence booster. 

3) Greg just wrote a note.

Kim & Sarah,

Fuck You!

This is going to start some drama.  Then Dave cleans the place in frustration and puts the dishes outside.  I love how this episode has started.

4) Will is using the palm tree like a punching bag, which is extremely bad ass.

5) Greg is an asshole.  Watching him lie gets old.

6) Dave just threatened to bring hurricane Dave out.  I can’t wait to see HurricaneDave, which is officially his name from now on.  Speaking of names, we haven’t seen The$2Hooker yet this episode.

7) Greg to Will, “you are the short guy with no muscles.”  Then Will punches a whole in the wall.

Greg to Dave, “little white boy.”  Then HurricanDave emerges.

9) Greg to Will, “punk ass token black guy.”  Then HurricaneWill emerges.

10) Will to Greg, “Your dad passed away because you’re gay.”

11) Wow, that was so much to take in, both HurricaneDave and HurricaneWill just appeared.  That was hands down my favorite 5 minutes in Real World history.  I’m speechless right now, but I have an enormous smile on my face.  Can’t wait for the commercials to end.  PussyDabbler sent me this text after that scene: “Wowowowowooq.  I’m shaking right now after the last scene.”  Couldn’t agree more.

12) I do think Greg is gay though.  And by gay I mean the one where the man likes to play with another man’s penis.

13) Just removing Will from the situation for the night means he is not kicked out.  YES. 

14) Dave’s moms advice to Dave, “just come home.”  Horrible advice mom, he’s a guy, he’s not just going to leave.

15) Will is coming back.  I’m right.  If he is getting kicked out of the house, he better at least jack him in the face like that guy from A Shot at Love 2 did.

16) Greg and Will are never going to get along.  For once Greg was the one trying to be civil.

17) Can’t wait until Joey gets filled in on this whole situation. 

18) Dave and Will are going to anger management classes.  That will do them nothing.  Dave then compares himself to the old cowboys back in the western days.  That was hilarious.

19) They go to visit Joey and don’t tell him any of the stories.  Weak.  Joey’s not gonna party when he gets back.  Interesting.  We will see how long that lasts. 

20) The$2Hooker now wants Joey again because he is sober. 

21) Everyone is naked in the hot tub.  Everyone making out with everyone.  That was awesome.  Kimberley and The$2Hooker both made out with Greg.  Will makes out with Reva again.  Kimberley is sitting in the confessional naked.  I think that is a first for any Real World season and hopefully not a last.  Another amazing scene.

22) Greg forgiving Will right now is hilarious.  He is hammered and his penis is hanging outside the towel. 

23) Will at anger management class, boring.  This was the first time in 50 minutes, which speaks volumes to how great this episode was. 

24) I’m sorry, I’m going to be honest, I feel bad for Joey, but if I was his roommate I wouldn’t be able to stop drinking or going out to bars.  Dr. Gilman is a little too intense for me.

25) I think they will make slight changes for Joey.  But, not as much as stuff as they believe they are going to. 

26) Sarah wasn’t worth mentioning even once this episode.  She is so boring and obnoxious.

Previews: Joey is coming back, that is all that matters.

Bevy, now that’s a fun fucking word. 

Real World Review - Sorry, I didn’t put one up yesterday.  I just honestly didn’t feel like re-watching the show.  Joey gets angry and becomes a joke blah blah blah.  The one thing I will say is that I think it was unfair for them to have that house meeting in the afternoon.  Joey went to sleep at 9 a.m. the man is clearly still drunk if the meeting is taking place in the afternoon.  I need a minimum of 12 hours before my drunkenness wears off.  I also loved When Will made fun of The$2Hooker when talking to the camera when he was making fun of the outfit she was planning on wearing to COURT.  And the reason I didn’t feel like watching it was because I can’t stop watching the following:

Paradise Hotel 2 - I fucking LOVE this show.  I can’t get enough of it.  I honestly might say I want to be on this show now as badly as I want to be on The Real World (again I’m too lazy to ever put in the effort).  I’m only 4 episodes into the season and I’m obsessed.  It’s Real World on Steroids with the ability to kick people off the show.  The first episode was average because they were all fealing each other out.  But from then on out, the next 3 episodes were phenomenal.  They basically sleep with each other to stay on the show.  The guys on the show have a motto, “sharing is caring.” In regards to sharing the girls they fuck, so they can all try.  They also call fucking ‘finger painting’ because it is full penetration and they both start with the same letters.  I can’t stop watching these episodes, I haven’t had a T.V. show addiction like this since 24 or Lost.  Oh my god as I’m typing this stuff, I just started episode 5, where they may have introduced the hottest woman ever on reality televsion.  She is hotter than Cameran from Real World San Diego.  This show just gets better every episode.  Tune into the 8 minute mark of episode 5 to see what this girl looks like, absolutely amazing.  Stephanie from Houston, you are so hot that for two seconds I just contemplated the idea of traveling to Houston to try and find you.  Then I remembered it’s a trash hole of a city and I decided to save you for beat off material instead.

Dirt - Speaking of Hulu.com, which is where I’ve been watching all of the Paradise Hotel episodes.  I got myself caught up on Dirt the other night.  And boy do I have a random story to tell.  So, my friend EvilFather received her nickname from her father being evil.  His name is John.Waters (I used a period between his names because I don’t want him to find this site).  I’m watching Episode 5 from season 2, when at the 14 minute mark Courtney Cox calls the act being performed on her a “John.Waters.”  The act that was being performed is a woman was giving her a Brazilian wax (I think that’s what it’s called when there is no hair).  Put 2 and 2 together, Courtney Cox called getting her vagina waxed a John.Fucking.Waters.  Are you fucking kidding me, how ridiculous is that?  I immediately texted EvilFather.

Me: U have to watch Dirt episode 5 season 2 on Hulu.com.  They call shaving a bush, getting a John.Waters, no joke.

Evils: What???????????????????????????????

EVIls: Wait, WHat?? I’m scared, that’s ridiculous

Evils: I don’t understand…Haha. omg-that’s so horrible

Me: I was in awe, go watch it, 14 minute mark

Evils (after watching it): Wait what??? They dont even set it up or follow it up - what what what?

Evils: I’m beyond baffled

Evils: Baffling…and disturbing…very. Haha.