Archive for the 'Entertain This (a.k.a. TV TALK)' Category

Bill Simmons keeps making references to this broad from the show Mad Men.  And since I don’t watch the show (eventhough I’ve heard great things) I did a little research to figure out who she is.  And I was not disappointed.  I present Christina Tits Hendricks

I have a feeling the picture isn’t going to show up since it’s from IMDB.com.  So follow this link.

Here’s also a zoom up.  Click on the picture in the upper right, it makes you download it, but it’s worth it.

I’m caught up to date on The Hills except for last night’s episode.  Nothing too special has really happened in the episodes.  Except, I loved how worried LC and Schmo were when Brody and Doug went to casino jail.  And, I was surprisingly glad to see Audrina and LC worked out their differences.  Since I didn’t watch last night’s episode, I might as well still provide some Hills content.  A new reader107 sent me an e-mail with all of the salaries from the show that were finally released.

And you people bash Spencer?  The man has parlayed his fake assholeness into $1.25 million per season.  That’s fucking impressive, if you ask me.  He gets almost as much as LC and it’s her show.

Side Note 107: Honestly, how the hell did I acquire even one new reader with my piss poor performace over the past few months?

Going into this episode my expectations were pretty low as most season premiere’s just touch on all the stuff the tabloids cover.  Thankfully, this episode was much more than that and quite entertaining.  Here’s my standard follow along blog.

1) D texted me, “LC’s dress (from the live interview)…ew…she doesn’t have the boobs for it.”  Um, I completely disagree any cleavage is good cleavage. 

2) Scripted conversation between LC and Whitney.  Standard stuff to catch us up on what’s going on.  I agree with Whitney Doug is kind of a lame name.

3) They follow the show’s theme song up with my favorite chick song right now.  Pussycat Doll’s…When I grow up.

4) Heidi’s fake work friend got uglier and I didn’t think she was halfway attractive in the first place.

5) Audrina’s first comment about Schmo of the season, “Lo is always super bitchy, that’s just how she is.”  Love that that is her first line, hope drama unfolds there, it no doubt should.

6) Spencer is sitting there playing vids.  Get out of here with that, I would work you son.  Yes, that was a CT line for those die hard MTV fans.

7) That’s a weak reason to pout Spencer, it’s just her sister.  And what does Heidi’s sister’s tat on her inner wrist say?

So, Schmo and Audrina are openly disliking each other this season.  That’s a different twist, but one I definately like, it can only end badly.

9) Red Pearl Kitchen…you can thank The Hills for that free advertising. 

10) LC, “I think your drink says a lot about you.  Beer says you’re a guys guy.”  What does jack and coke say I am LC?  And LC ordered a Fuzzy Dragon?  That sounds delicious, but I think that says to me, that you don’t trim your bush. 

11) Doug just asked who Audrina is.  Get serious Dougy, you have clearly watched the show before or season her in the tabloids with LC.

12) Back to back amazing previews.  Real excited for Making the Band to come back tomorrow.  The crop of summer shows had been horrible.  I had been delegated to watching I Love Money (which is fantastic actually) and Million Dollar Listing.  Now I’ve got The Hills, Making the Band and Sunset Tan all returning.  Not to mention the next preview and a new show I’m quite excited for, the new version of Beverly Hills, “90210″ featuring Eden.

13) Jesus Christ, these commercials just won’t stop.  What is the run time on this episode?  12 minutes?  Just rewinded my TiVo to see if I was overreacting.  No joke 8 minutes of the Hills playtime followed by 9 minutes of advertising.  That is pathetic, especially for a season premiere. 

14) Spencer is hilarious.  He is intentionally over the top Spencer haters, everything he does is intentional and thought out, stop taking him seriously.

15) Whoa Whoa.  How are Doug and Frankie already friends? Did anyone else catch that they went to Audrina’s party together and without Brody.

16) All of Audrina’s crazy friends are showing up to the party.  Over/Under on S.T.D.’s at that party I’m setting at 14.5.  No joke, I’d take the over, there are so many dirtballs.

17) Schmo is bitching in the kitchen.  “We are just gonna have to enjoy the company that comes.”  Thank you, captain obvious.  And finally Lauren gives her a frustrated look.

18) Heidi, “I don’t always want my family in my relationship like that.”  Honestly shut up.  You are on a reality show about your relationship, of course you want everyone to know.  You and Spencer go out in public begging people to give you attention (which I’m not mocking, it’s impressive how much attention you get).

19) SCHMO SUCKS.

20) Speaking of Schmo sucking, BooYaKaShaw just texted me his best analysis to date of this show, “Smiegel thinks that Audrina is taking her precious.”  Hilarious.

21) Heidi’s sister looks a lot hotter in the live interview. 

22) 6 minutes of run time there and only 2 minutes of commercials, much better.  For those with poor math skills, that’s 14 minutes of the show and 11 minutes of advertising.  Still a horrible rate.

23) Heidi’s sister leaves and before leaving casually asks to move in.  Haha, that’s gonna irk Spencer.

24) Spencer looks like Grizzly Adams.

25) Schmo and Audrina are going to talk? What? Wait and it’s happening now, excellent.  My mom has always claimed Schmo looks like a witch.  She couldn’t be more right, I keep seeing it more and more.

26) Schmo you should receive the blame for Audrina and LC seperating so much.  Both parts of this argument are so well rehearsed that it’s difficult to critique, this conversation was clearly planned out.  Audrina with the evil dagger to end the discussion, “we will never be friends.”  Nice.

27) My mother called me after the show to predict that Heidi’s sister will move into the house after Audrina moves out.  A bold prediction but I love it and could see it happening.

Previews: AMAZING.  They set up the whole season, so much stuff:

28) Spencer disowning ShePratt for hanging out with LC.

29) ShePratt going on a date with Dougy.  Drama, Drama, Drama.  ShePratt, “she can’t dictate all of our lives.”

30) Doug and Brody are best buds.  Huh, Doug wants Brody’s leftovers?

31) Audrina takes her top off in the pool.  That wouldn’t be anything new. 

32) LC and Audrina actually trying to patch things up.

33) Audrina’s tatted up sister from the tabloids making an appearance.

34) Heidi’s sister moving out there.  And then the sister trying to help Heidi and LC patch up their long lost friendship. 

Wow great previews and a solid episode.  Looking forward to this season.

I feel obligated to do one last blog on the show, since this was my favorite season so far.

1) Andy Dick is a loser

2) Joey is the man. But, his girlfriend Malaine is not attractive, he can do infinitely better. BooYaKaShaw texted me: Okay this maLAME chick is joey’s antidrug? If I dated this broad I’d be doing every drug imaginable to forget I was dating her.

3) Janelle still sucks. I hate just seeing her face, it bugs me. I can’t wait until she watches last week’s show on t.v. and ses he faked the tears

4) Dave got sucker punched in the bar. And then an all out brawl started outside the bar. I wish I was watching it on my Tivo right now, I want to see that fight in slow motion again. Dave got dropped and The$2Hooker looked like the toughest one of the group. Joey was definately needed for that fight.

5) Will whipped off his belt and tried to use it as a weapon because he is probably a pussy fighter. Nick tossed some guy and got no credit for that. Dave has a nice little shiner now.

6) Will gave Joey great advice when Joey was down there, see those impromptu classes are paying off.

7) Joey’s going back to the house. Excellent. D made a great point, she said, “I’m sure Joey will love rewatching this show and seeing how genuinely excited everyone was to hear he was returning to the house.”

Hancock preview. I actually saw that this week. Wasn’t expecting much going in and it was a pleasant surprise and a a pretty solid movie. Charlize Theron looks amazing in the movie and Will Smith is the man.

9) Paramount Studios did look like The Truman Show, great point Kimberley. That’s something I never thought I’d say.

10) Shana Moakler has really gone down hill. Or maybe it’s just the fact that she has clothes on.

11) Sarah was definately the best interviewer. Nick cut off Shana and Kimberley failed miserably in every way.

12) All I see when I look at Joey is hair. BooYaKaShaw texted: Do they not have barbers in chicago? Joey’s hair is so long he looks like some sort of Tekken character.

13) Will just stole fake flowers. Hilarious. That was eerily reminiscent of the time that Johanna went to jail.

14) I fucking hate commercials. I don’t know what I would do without TiVo, these commercials have been dreadful.

15) The$2Hooker is really good at improv and quite entertaining. Who would have known.

16) Who will be the last roommate. I’m guessing The$2Hooker, she has probably had the most happen to her.

17) Almost shedding some man tears, it is always sad watching the roommates leave.

18) How did I never catch that The$2Hooker was so funny. She is ridiculous, running out touching everything in the house, good stuff. Oh, I know how, I could never get over the way she looked.

19) I called the last roommate. I actually in my head predicted that exact order.

Previews: The ending of one show and the beginning of another. Survivor twist to this season’s Challenge show. Derrick is back, hell yes. Cohutta and Dave make their debuts. And I think I caught Johanna making out with Kenny. The Island. Oh my god, that looks UNREAL.

I didn’t do a review of last week’s episode, but I did jot down a few thoughts. 

1)      Joey’s friend Mike was a complete asshole

2)     Throughout the episode I kept thinking about how obvious it was that Joey has stopped taking the steroids after rehab.  He looks significantly smaller from the beginning of the season.

3)     The housemates did a very poor job at trying to keep Joey there.  Especially Dave and Will.  If you are his boys you need to make it known that you want him there.  Instead of Dave lamely saying, “you know I want you here, but ultimately it’s your own decision.”

4)     I was quite pumped that I nailed the steroids (eventhough it was quite obvious) as Joey admitted to it during his goodbye letter.  In the letter he stated at age 19 he ballooned to a 5’9” 250 pound monster.  That’s fucking crazy.  And for that matter so was his story.  I agree with Dave’s analysis after the story, that we should feel fortunate to never have it that bad.

As for this week’s review.  Looking forward to meeting two new castmates.

5)     I like the beat of that song in the opening scene.  And they didn’t display the artist and song for once, damn.

6)     The$2Hooker had her best line of the year.  I want the new girl to be a whore and have sex with every guy in the house.  Amen to that.  That would make for great T.V.

7)     Janelle is not attractive.  I hated her in her season, why couldn’t he date a Real World alum that’s cool and hot.  I’m sure they are all in Hollywood trying to make it big.

     Haha, all the fresh meat challenge people were hanging out together at some bar.  And then Evan finally makes his first appearance on Real World.  I remember JohnnyBananas used to give him shit since Evan couldn’t make it on the show eventhough he tried out.

9)     Really excited to watch Dave do the Improv durnk.  Similar to him I claim I think I’d do things better drunk.  Lets put this theory to the test.

10) Dave fucked up bad.  Funny to watch though.  All in all I thought the whole performance was pretty weak though.

11)  Fucking with the new roommate.  I like this idea.  And then Dave somehow forgets.  How is that possible you just discussed it?

12)  Nick is clearly going to be better for the roommates than Greg but Greg didn’t make good T.V. eventhough he was a dousche.

13)  Brittini is replacing Joey.  No one can compare to him.  She seems nice and oddly attractive, very modelesque.

14) Will to Janelle when she left for the night, “goodnight love you.”  Really?  Hurry up and cheat on her already.

15)  Reva (the whore who hooked up with Will and Greg) just tried to make out with Nick.  Jesus Christ those girls suck.

16)  Sarah how can you mock Will for flirting with the new girl.  You fucking made out with Will night one when you had a boyfriend.  Sarah, you suck at life.

17)  Dave’s hosting was the easiest thing ever.  I love how big of a deal he made of it, that was nothing.

18)  Just realized something.  4 of the 9 people this year have been African American.  That’s got to be some kind of record.

19)  Quite surprised Will showed restraint for once.  Really wish he hadn’t.

20)  I love how MTV points out that Adam from the Real World was in a scene and then he never speaks once.  What was the point of that?

21)  See now this is actually hosting Dave.  You are introducing some stand up acts but you have to make them laugh as well.  Not just state who is there tonight.  But, he did a great job making the crowd laugh and so forth, so good work Davey.

Previews: Sarah gets too drunk and shows her true colors.  BEING A BITCH