Wow, The Hills is sadly turning into one of my favorite shows.  I say sadly because I realize this is a show intended for women and many of my guy friends despise this show.  But hear me out and let me plead my case.  Last year, I was mildly intrigued by the show, but it got ruined by Jason, the epitome of a toolbox.  But, this years show has all the key character dynamics of a great reality show.

You’ve got the main character Lauren, a beautiful naive all american girl. She seem’s like a great girl who parties from time to time but is truly concerned with her schoolwork and her future.  The kind of girl you hope your daughter looks up to.

Then you’ve got the slimy player Spencer who just never gives up.  He’s like a dog wagging his tail for attention and yet he does it with his unbelievable game and the girl’s just can’t resist.  He’s the prototypical fratboy drunk (yeah I know like me).  In the most recent episode he just tried to fight a guy for no reason during the middle of the day completely sober.   God I love that kid, I wish I was dumb enough to try the sober afternoon fight.  Spencer called some random girls up to party for the night while his girlfriend was out of town and by random I mean playboy bunnies.  At the bar he kept telling them they were the most beautiful human beings ever and somehow arranged a naked picnic with one of them.  The amount of game, albeit sleezy this man has is unfathomable.  Oh yeah and his father’s bank account doesn’t hurt him much either.  So, lets summarize what he just did in only the most recent episode, he arranged a naked picnic with a playmate, all the while dating/fucking a reality star, yeah straight baller. 

Then, you’ve got the Brody Jenner approach, which is the polar opposite of his best friend Spencer.  Brody’s game involves repeatedly complimenting a girl on absolutely everything.  From her eyes, to her clothes, to the date, to her presence, he cover’s all the bases.  I find it absolutely pathetic59.  I much prefer Spencer’s game, but there’s no denying his skills.  He’s dated/fucked Nicole Richie, Kristen Cavalieri and recently I heard Lindsay Lohan.  Not to mention taken the all american girl Lauren on a date and at least “cuddled” as he lamely calls it in.  And outside of the fact that he compliments women, he is also very direct when it comes to taking them out.  For his first date he just told Lauren he was picking her up and taking her to dinner, not really giving her an option.  Wife thought that this cute and a great idea and said, “girl’s love it when you take control.”  Blah, Blah, Blah.  I countered with okay so if I tell a girl I’m going to put it in her butt at the end of the date, according to that logic I’ve just taken control and she’s going to like it. Yeah, didn’t think so.  Brody, is however a much more entertaining guy and date for Lauren than Mr. Zero personality Jason from last season.

Then, you got psycho Heidi, who provides non-stop entertainment and is a close second behind Spencer as my favorite character.  In a recent episode, she probably just created a cliche saying for every 16 year old in the world when she came up with the term arm candy.  And after referring to them as arm candy Lauren asked her, “why do we always compare men to accessories?”  Heidi properly responds with, “because they’re disposable like that.”  She helped me realize that women also view men as disposable, I only thought men saw women that way.  Thanks, Heidi.  She’s the kind of girl, you hope your daughter never looks up to or grows up to act like.  For a better understanding of how extremely beyond words ridiculous this woman is, you need to check out this article. http://michaelmoller.com/wordpress/archives/103

Then outside of the big four, there are two very pretty other girls.  There’s Audrina, who is currently fighting with Heidi over Spencer (because Spencer is trying to get with her too, while dating Heidi) and Whitney another all american type girl.  Audrina has an easting disorder but still looks gorgeous and I’m just waiting for Heidi, the bitch to rip on her for that in an episode.  Whitney, we unfortunately know nothing about, except for the fact that she works with Lauren at TeenVogue.  Otherwise, she’s a mystery and that bothers me, I need to know if she’s a slut or a psycho because ultimately almost all girls in there twenties are one or the other.

Lets get one thing clear, the girl’s have plenty going for them to appeal to women.  But, with the new dimensions the guys have brought to the show it has opened the door to make it okay for men to watch.  I know there inevitable break-ups are right around the corner, but as long as the men stay as key characters in the show, this will continue to be one of my favorite reality shows and there’s no reason for it not to become one of yours. 

Side Note 59: Bill Simmons even brought up the Hills in a recent article and agrees with my assertions on the stupid Brody Jenner game….His thoughts…All I know is this: My assignment for this week was to come to Miami and tell you, the home reader, what it’s like to have a Super Bowl here. Right now, we’re working on a solid A-plus. The grade could change, but that’s what we’re looking at right now. And since I can’t sum up my feelings on South Beach in a single sentence, let’s hand it over to the great Brody Jenner, who’s making a noble attempt on “The Hills” right now to break the reality-TV record for “most cheesy compliments ever given to a girl while trying to get into her pants.” Two things you need to know about Brody: (A) He’s Bruce Jenner’s son, and (B) he’s already been on two reality shows. Now he’s pursuing the star of “The Hills” — America’s sweetheart, LC — who’s far too stupid to realize that Brody called her only because he knew the cameras had just started rolling for Season 2. You would think she’d catch on because Jason (last season’s nose-itching boyfriend) pulled the same move on her and she was too dumb to see that one, either. She’s easy prey for a player like Brody, who’s been laying lines on her like “you have the most beautiful eyes I have EVER seen.” We’re about three more episodes away from having a threesome with him and a 6-foot bottle of Rohypnol. I don’t see this ending well.

What does this have to do about anything? Well, in this week’s episode, Brody finally lured LC back to his apartment and gave her his greatest line yet: “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here with you.” I don’t feel that strongly about South Beach, but give me a few more days. We might get there.