Really looking forward to this season.  I’m about a week late with first impressions, so I might as well just lump the first two episodes into one article.

1) The first person we meet is CJ.  He wants to be an NFL punter.  I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy him.  He was the number four punter in the country?  But, the T.V. in the background just said you averaged only 38 yards per punt.  Hmmm.

2) Wow, that is one ridiculous name.  Ayiiia.  Seriously, how do you name your child that?  Technically you could say that is six vowels.  And she is the online winner, interesting.

3) Jonna & Derek.  Two people who already know each other.  That’s a first.  They are both servers and both seem like complete dits’s.  Jonna has a boyfriend, but there is zero percent she is going to be faithful, mark it down.

4) Going to Cancun and they are working for Student City.  This is the ideal setup for any Real World house, I have such high hopes for this season, it’s unreal.

5) Jonna has to be the gay guy right?  He just spoke, pretty sure he must be.

6) Emilee seems the most normal.  Emilee and CJ don’t know each other, but are facebook friends already? One of them is a stalker then.

7) “I’m Bronne like the paper towl.”  Perfect introduction.  I think he’s going to be the funny one.

Ayiiia speaks spanish, huge asset.

9) Bronne is funny.  “Yes, we have a gay guy, I’m going to ask him to help me with my outfits.”

10) Jasmine is the one who is going to cause drama.  She said don’t mess with me in her first sentence.

11) Emilee is a quarter Danish.  She is now my favorite girl.

12) Joey is going to be crazy.  Really looking forward to all the crazy shit he does.  This cast looks phenomenal.

13) They are staying in a hotel suite.  It has multiple levels and is perfect.  I’m so jealous of all these people.  If I were to ever make it on this show, this would have been the worst season ever for me or conversely the best season for a camera to follow me.  There is no way I would escape 4 months in Cancun without an s.t.d. or alcohol poisoning so bad that it lead to my death.  I have been to Cancun before, it was one of the best weeks of my life.

14) Joey, “old guys are young guys in old bodies.” Well said, so true.  Any dude regardless of his age only thinks about sex.

15) Bronne was a nude model during college.  Interesting.  Jonne, says she was a slut before her boyfriend.  Yep, I was right.  Joey makes a bet with Jonne.  Joey, “if I commit the cheat and make 500 pesos, oh dude.”  Haha.

16) First night out.  Joey is passing out at the bar.  That’s so Bomber esque.  Bronne then vomits at the bar.  That’s so MiniMiz esque.  Weak, drinking performance out of the guys.

17) CJ has a girlfriend?  How did I miss that.  He seems like a good dude, he actually might not cheat.  50/50.

18) Joey bought a mannekin for a $100 on the beach.  Wonder what he is going to do with that?

19) The City.  I’ve been to that bar.  I saw 50 Cent perform there.  It was an unreal bar, proabably one of my favorites to date.  I think it holds over 10,000 people in the bar.  As for the bar, Joey is making out with some tatted chick, no surprise, good for him.  And Bronne is making out with some 40 year old ugly red haired woman.  As funny as Bronne is, something is off with him.  Haha, okay that’s awesome, the red haired lady is the tatted chick’s mom, now that’s a solid story for those two.  Joey takes the daughter home and fucks her.  We also find out he wants to fuck a new chick every week, that’s a great goal for us the viewers.

20) Did MTV really blur out the stick figures fucking?  Really MTV?

21) CJ’s girlfriend is already coming in episode one?

22) CJ to Joey, “you wear a condom?”  Joey, “of course I did, don’t drink the water and don’t get AIDS.”  Haha.  Then he finds out the two girls snuck in and watched him hook up.  And instead of getting mad, he high fives them.

23) CJ is already breaking up with his girlfriend because she won’t come visit.  Wow, that was a quick.  You knew you were going to Cancun, why wouldn’t you break up with her beforehand?  We also learn his full name is Christian, that’s a danishname, I like it. CJ’s cornrows look horrible.  He looks like white trash.

24) Emilee is being a girl and freeking out about nothing.  Bronne calls CJ heartthrob, good stuff.

Episode one ends.  So fucking pumped for this season.  Actually even more after watching the premiere than I was before this episode.  That’s the best season premiere I can remember in a long time. Time for the follow up episode.

25) Heartthrob wins the hot body contest, no surprise.

26) Ayiiia hates sarcasm?  Really.  Her and I would never get along.  Ayiiia is going to be trouble this season.  Another online winner trying to fuck up another season?

27) Why is the hotel called ME?

28) That cuddle scene was funny.  Too bad he couldn’t hold it in, that would have been even better if they slept there for a while.

29) Joey might already have herpes.  He claims it’s sunburn.  I’ve actually had sunburn on the lip before, completely possible.

30) Do you think you could not drink? Fuck no.  If I’m in Cancun, I would be loaded daily.  I actually side with Ayiiia on this one.

31) And then she falls right back into her crazy bitchy pattern, which includes her repeatedly yelling at Joey, “at least I don’t have Herpes on my lip.” Joey then decides to spit in her tacos.  If he really does have herpes, could that be transmitted through spit?  If so, that is completely crossing the line and not okay regardless of how bad she sucks as a human.

32) Outside of the spitting though, it’s kind of entertaining watchinghim push the girl’s buttons.  Emilee, Ayiiia and the girl I can’t remember her name are ridiculous and are going to bother me to no end if they act like this all season.

33) The girl’s threw water at his guitar and ruined it.  And the gay guy comes and consoles him, kind of surprising how the gay guy sides with the guys this season.  Very rare, normally a gay guy takes the girl’s side.

34) I’m with Bonne though, “why do people fight, they are in Cancun.”

35) I figured it out about Emilee, when her hair isn’t covering part of her face is when she doesn’t look as good.  Seriously, try looking at different scenes, such a big difference.

36) Can CJ and Jonne just hook up already?

37) Just realized something, none of these girls are outrageously hot.  Jonne is like an 8.  Emilee is a 7 when dolled up and a 4 when not.  Ayiiia and NoName are 5’s.

38) Bonne is wearing an American Eagle shirt.  They must be a sponsor because in the past they blurred out logos on clothes.

39) Joey just said it has been two weeks already.  That means he needs to hook up with another girl right away, to accomplish his one a week goal.

40) That acting job was hilarious, they had all the roommates tricked.

Previews: Emilee and Ayiiia have a crush on each other.  Then they hook up and then they have an epic fight.  Really looking forward to that hookup.

All in all I have never been this excited for a season.  Quite happy they stuck with the 8 cast members, hour episode approach.  Just creates more hookups and drama.

I know you were expecting a Real World: Cancun review today as I always break down those shows premieres the night of, but I went and saw Transformers at the IMAX last night, great fucking stuff.  A Real World first impression blog will come at some point, but today all that matters to me is the NBA draft.  I came in two hours early to work today so I could get out with plenty of time to spare.

Ricky Rubio is my target.  I will go watch 10+ Timberwolves games next year if we get him.  He excites me that much.  Don’t worry I’ve said that about Mayo117 and Roy in the past though, hopefully we don’t follow suit.

News is he is slipping.  Supposedly Marc Gasol talked him out of going to Memphis.  So, Memphis probably takes Thabeet now if they stay put.  Otherwise we should come in and offer Memphis our 6th, 18th and 28th picks for their second pick.  Or offer the 5th and 18th.  Offer whatever you have to.  If he slips to 3 or 4, offer a little less, whatever just get him.  Our track record in the 10-30 range is just god awful.  Check out the past results.  What’s funny is the picks above ten actually look good , unfortunately every one of them eventually got traded away.

My draft board looks like this: 1) Blake Griffin. 2) Ricky Rubio. 3) Hasheem Thabeet. 4) Stephen Curry. 5) Tyreke Evans. 6) James Harden. I don’t want anything to do with Flynn (who we are rumored to be hot for now), Holliday or Jennings.  That is unless one of those three slips to 18.

I am praying to god that some combination of Harden and Flynn goes at 3 and 4.  Then we could get Rubio and wouldn’t need another point in Curry and could take Evans (but I wouldn’t be crushed if we got Harden instead of Evans).  That is my best case scenorio.  Rubio at 5 and Evans at 6.  Highly unlikely as many teams are high on Evans right now.  I like Evans, but he reminds me a lot of the recently traded Randy Foye.  If Rubio is gone I would be content with Stephen Curry playing the point, just cause he’s fun to watch and can shoot the lights out.  But knowing our draft record, Rubio will probably slip to 5 or 6, we draft him and then trade him to the Blazers, so he can pair up in the backcourt with our other former all star Brandon Roy.

Assuming we don’t trade away our later first round picks.  I would then hope at 18 we just scoop someone up who is value and has just slipped for no reason, someone like Gerald Henderson or Terrence Williams.  Then with the 28 grab some European and stash him because there is no way we are carrying four first round rookies next year.

Should be an interesting day.  Kahn wants to prove he was the right one for the job and will be working the phones hard all day.  I can’t wait for 6 p.m. tonight.

Side Note 117: I don’t get full credit there though, I couldn’t have been more wrong about Lopez.  He turned out to be a pretty quality big man in the NBA.

Pretty pumped for this episode.  All in all it’s been a pretty solid season.  A really deep penis field and a really shallow vagina field.

1) Last time watching this intro and of course I notice something again.  Why is there a Samoan on the horn in New Zealand? Are there lots of Somoan’s located there?

2) Quickly back into action.  Let’s go Tori.  Fuck, Aneesa squeeks it out.  Lousy result.

3) Tori called Mark grandpa, good stuff.

4) It’s a good thing they are only going to show us the highlights of this pole climbing challenge.  It could take hours with these competitors just continually ripping each other down.

5) Holy shit.  Brad flies up the pole and even tosses MJ off while climbing up.  Wow.  That was the impressive win of any Duel this entire season.  Still gonna take an incredible final challenge for him to upset Landon.

6) Brad just said he lost his Beyonce today.  I have no idea how that makes sense.

7) Interesting little final Duel competition.  They have to decide someone of each sex to go in and they get to pick their opponent.  Wow.  No idea how this is gonna go.

8 ) Landon leaves the room to get the paper like a nice guy and then gets thrown under the bus.  Seriously, of course that would happen.  Stupid work on Landon’s part. At least he gets to pick his own opponent.

9) Diem gets voted aloud by all 3 girls.

10) At least this time DIem and Landon get to pick their opponents while knowing the challenge.  Kind of a big advantage.  Landon should have made them wait like Diem is, like her style.

11) Diem should pick Brittini since it’s pushover based on size.  Yep, she does.  Pretty even, I’d say the chicks are a toss up.  Landon on the other hand is a decent favorite in this hook clip challenge eventhough Brad looked tough earlier.

12) Brad wins as Landon was just busy trying to tackle him and not following the rules.  Wow, this guy shit is intense. Round 2, Landon chucks Brad into the wall and takes the clip offf.  Fucking impressive.  This is awesome.  Best duel all season.

13) HOLY FUCK!!! Brad just upset Landon.  And that was so incredibly awesome.  What a heads up move by tossing his ring into the air.

14) Mark and Evan have to be so pumped that Brad won.  Now this final is a toss up.  I’d say the odds of the men winning the finals are 37% Brad, 33% Evan, 30% Mark.

15) Brittini just ran through Diem on that first one.  Diem uses her leverage the second time and takes her out.  Another 3rd match ahead.  Brittini wins, she was much tougher than expected this season.  For this final I’d say the odds are 65% Rachel, 30% Brittini and 5% Aneesa.  So low on Aneesa because there is always a lot of funning in the finale.

16) Kermit is now watching this with me and made a great point.  How did no one ever call Mark out?  He just looks scary

17) Just realized Bomber won 2.2 times more money on Deal or No Deal than the winner of this show is going to get.

18) That boat ride looked awesome.  Cheering for Brad and Brittini in these finals.

19) Aneesa starts off struggling with the run as expected and then looks like a beached whale trying to get through the water.  I think I didn’t set her odds low enough.  How the fuck did her fat ass get here?

20) Mark is slowing down suprisingly early.  If Aneesa doesn’t finish she shouldn’t get her third place money back.

21) Evan climbed the pole with the mountain bike.  Hilarious.  Waste of strength and time.

22) Huge advantage for Brad to get Rachel right now.  That just won him the challenge.

23) Evan is gonna catch Brad, since Brad’s cramping up.  Rachel on the other hand won’t be touched.

24) This is gonna be an awesome finish.  Elevator duel Brad v. Evan.  I say Brad still wins now, I though Evan might catch him in the running portion.  It’s gonna end in a sprint.  Awesome.  So happy.

25) Evan just squeeked it out.  Wow.  Really enjoyed this finale.  Great duels, great final challenge, great season as a whole, all in all great T.V.

Sent to me by TKM, great stuff.

Is it sad that I really enjoyed this?